Only One Fish In My Sea
by KingAlanI
Summary: By Alan Gilfoy in the world of Suzanne Collins. A special girl and boy from District Four meet each other, but the Capitol won't allow them any semblance of a normal life. Inspired by an "autistic Annie" prompt from a tumblr friend.
1. No Safety Net

**A/N**

Since I'm mildly autistic myself, I was interested in tuimitchams' prompt. Their Athena Karkanis fancast influenced my description of Annie's appearance. I already had incorporated Mainstay Productions' Finnick And Annie Web Series into my headcanon. I add to what I've already written, but I don't contradict it.

This chapter covers the timeframe of Episodes 1 and 2 of the web series.

**Chapter**

I was only twelve years old, but since I was even younger, I had known that I was special in ways both good and bad, or in ways people thought were bad.

The summer after one's 12th birthday tended to be particularly memorable. The weather was always so nice that time of year, and this particular year was the last before a person's first Hunger Games reaping. Celebrating that last summer was an attempt to distract oneself from the upcoming dread. Fortunately for me, that was mostly working. Somebody usually volunteered for whoever was chosen. However, that didn't always happen, so I was still a bit scared. A lot of people were, but it had more of an impact on me because I really didn't like unexpected things.

Twenty-four people went and only one came back, so twenty-three died. Usually the dead people included both of the kids that came from my home of District Four. I remember when Daddy's mommy and daddy got sick, and my parents said it was kind of like that, but these people were so much younger. It was all so mean, something more than that really, but we didn't dare say anything about it except to ourselves.

However, there was always one person who won. The year after I turned four, another girl named Annie from another district won. The year after that, the boy from our district won. Daddy said he was just barely old enough to remember the second victor in the history of District Four, a girl named Margaret who was now a nice old lady called Mags. The first District Four victor since Mommy was born was a girl named Olive, who loved the previous boy victor Popeye like Mommy loved Daddy.

I was incredibly good at focusing on some things, although I sometimes wasn't good at changing my focus to something else when I had to. District Four was all about fishing, and my family made nets. I was really good at tying knots, and I loved the grid pattern of strings that made up the nets. One day we made a lot of nets, even more than usual. Mommy knew I loved to ride in a boat on the ocean, so she took me there as it was getting dark for the day.

I just was no good at focusing on some other things. Sometimes I wasn't interested and couldn't or wouldn't pretend I cared. For instance, I hadn't learned how to balance in the boat or listen when Mommy told me to sit down. I hadn't fallen out of the boat, so I had stopped worrying - it seems mommies always worried about everything. However, this time I did end up in the water. I was not good at swimming, and Mommy wasn't either, so she started screaming. I started flailing with my arms in the water. A boy not much older than me was standing in the water. He was near some of the groups of tall reeds at the water's edge. He could swim, very well actually, and came rushing towards me. Once he reached me, he put his arms under my shoulders and dragged me onto the beach. Thanks to him, I was coughing but I was okay. I told him my name was Annie. It was really Anemone, Anemone Cresta, but everyone called me Annie. His name really was Finnick Odair, he said.

I was really good at school, if it was a subject I cared about, but I didn't have many friends there or anyone else in the district. Finnick was about the only person I spent time with who wasn't family and wasn't in the net business.

We ended up spending a lot of time together. Finnick carried me to his house. "Look what I caught! An Annie Cresta!" he cheerfully told his mommy and daddy. Even I saw how happy Finnick's mom still was with Finnick's dad. I wanted that kind of thing myself some day, but I probably wouldn't get it. Would a boy like Finnick really like me? He was awfully cute, especially when his shirt was off, which it often was. I think he'd grow up to be awfully handsome, and then lots of girls would be interested in him, and then what chance would I have?

August 1st was my first Reaping and Finnick's second. The Capitol man didn't call either of our names to be dragged away. I don't remember what names he did pick – that seemed irrelevant because two people volunteered for them anyway. They were both killed by Gloss, the boy from District One. He ended up winning, right after his big sister Cashmere had won last year.

I wondered what it was like to have sisters and brothers. Finnick thought about that too, since he didn't have any siblings either. A lot of people who loved each other wanted babies but I guess it would be too hard to watch them in the Reaping. Some people compromised and had only one. I think that's what my parents had done, and Finnick's too. Maybe Finnick saw me like the sister he never had. I wanted him to be my boyfriend, but he would be a pretty cool brother too. I knew he couldn't be both, since if people were both, their babies might not be healthy.

Mommy tried to make me feel better. "Our little girl is smart and pretty," she said. As she said _pretty_, I looked towards the water and saw my reflection. My hair was dark brown – I was reminded of Finnick's, which was somewhat lighter. It was short like for most boys; mine was long and curly and I played with a handful of it while I looked at the water. I still liked Mommy brushing it sometimes. My skin looked like I had a tan, but I was born with it. Again, I couldn't help but think of Finnick; he was a similar shade. "The right boy will see what's so great about you and he'll be worth the wait. It took me awhile to find Daddy, after all," Mommy explained. Have you heard people say that there are many fish in the sea?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered. _But I didn't know how to fish. Finnick's family did that, and even he was still learning._

She had different thoughts about the phrase, and said of Daddy that "there's only one fish in my sea".

Finnick seemed slow in learning how to fish, and I sometimes teased him about that. He thought it was easy to tie knots to make nets – _maybe for me_, I thought as I tried to correct him. I wanted him to put up or shut up with this talk about nets before I let him teach me how to swim. He seemed quite surprised that someone who lived in District Four couldn't swim. What we were doing seemed like an argument, but I found it oddly relaxing. Sometimes I wasn't sure how to simply talk to people, but I understood a battle of wits. It was actually quite playful; we sometimes splashed sand or water at each other. I sat on a towel that I had laid down over the beach sand, and he sometimes grabbed at it.

Some people had tried to give me swimming lessons before, without luck. Maybe I didn't like them or the way it felt when they touched me. Perhaps the lessons were something I wouldn't or couldn't focus on because I hadn't been interested. Yet Finnick was different – he wasn't special in the same way I was, but there was still something unique about him.


	2. Finnick's Voyage

**A/N**

This chapter covers the timeframe of Episode 3 of the web series, and then some.

I made some minor revisions to Chapter 1.

**Chapter**

I felt like a very lucky girl lately – as they say, the odds were in my favor. For once people thought I was special _in a good way_. There was no school in August so we could focus on watching the Games, but there was school again in September. A lot of people knew I was friends with Finnick now. "Isn't he so handsome?" so many girls said.

I didn't know what that meant, so I asked "Mommy, what's 'handsome'?"

"It's the boy version of 'pretty'," Mommy told me. Well, he was. Thinking about that swarthy skin, those big green eyes, I felt all funny – I think that's how boys were supposed to make a girl feel. His eyes foamed like a wavy sea, as much so as mine did, but would he ever look at me with them as anything more than a friend? "You're pretty too, especially since you think you are," Mommy reassured me.

At school or at home making nets, usually what I liked to do was inside and fairly alone. Now I also spent a lot of time outside, and with Finnick. We were having so much fun together, I was a lot happier since we met and I think Finn was too, but eventually that very sad thing would happen.

It seemed everyone was nervous on Reaping Day except for the woman from the Capitol. She didn't say 'Annie Cresta'. _So I had made it two years, and had five left_. This was Finnick's third year, and after today he would have only four left. But she did pick 'Finnick Odair'! No one volunteered for him. Some mean people were jealous of him so they probably didn't care. I don't understand how you could hate Finnick Odair, except if you weren't as good as he was – not as loyal, not as good at fishing, not as handsome, not as clever. Some people seemed jealous of Finn and were glad to see him taken away. Some other people were just glad it wasn't them. Usually it was older kids, since they had more entries and were more likely to be good volunteers. Maybe some nicer people thought that even though Finn was so young, he still had a better chance than they did.

He really did make a net for me after all, but now he had to go before he could show it to me. Well, he had to come back so I could see it and he could teach me how to swim. I gave him a bracelet, a more tightly woven version of the net material, buttoning it around his wrist.

Finnick didn't tell anyone about me – I think he couldn't, since he needed to get the attention of sponsors. That would be harder to do if everyone thought he already had a girlfriend. I'm not sure if I was or ever would be that, but it would be logical for the audience to think that if they knew about us. They only saw how handsome and strong he was, but I also knew how great he was to be around.

He did well stabbing people with the spears and knives he found in the Cornucopia, although that was hard enough to watch. He was unstoppable once his mentor sent him a trident, a gift paid for by all those sponsors. There were vines in the arena, and he used them to make nets to catch the tributes that were still left. I had taught him how to do that and he was using it to help come back home! It didn't make sense to be overly positive, and it was particularly dangerous to be like that if you were someplace like the arena. So Finnick hadn't been sure if he was going to win, but he did.

When he got back, he didn't want to talk about it, not even with me. We were pretty close now, so it must've been really bad if even I didn't know about it. I respected that. I understood from personal experience when people wanted to be left alone. I definitely knew what it was like when my mind was too different for other people to understand what was going on. It was something from the arena, I figured out that much. His parents weren't victors, so he probably wasn't talking to them either. Maybe only the other people in Victors Village would understand.

I didn't really visit him in Victors Village; we spent most of our time together near the same beach where we met.

He _did_ talk about swimming, and how great it felt to be in the water. He finally wanted to teach and I finally wanted to learn, at least with each other. He held my hand as we waded into the water. Not only was I okay with his touch, I actually liked it. It felt even better when he held me even closer as I started to explore the water. That first time in the water, I just floated and kicked as I held on to Finnick. He had to hold me since I obviously couldn't swim by myself yet.

Again we pretended to fight, as we planned more lessons. The hug after our first one was the closest we'd come to a kiss, and even I could tell how much we liked even that.

We waded in just deep enough to be able to kick up and down, but shallow enough that I could safely stand. I needed to feel safe, and I kept feeling more and more secure around Finnick, but the water was still scary. Nets could bring fish up, but they could also keep people from going down as far. For the second lesson, Finnick held onto me as I paddled with my hands. Eventually I went from waving my arms through the water to cupping my hands and pulling through the clear blue. Finnick taught me that if my fingers were close together, water couldn't go between them, so I could push more water, and move better that way. I was getting more and more used to it; my arms were getting more used to it and it seemed less scary.

One time I felt my legs kick but through the water instead of against Finnick's hands. He had let go! But I pulled with my hands just like when he was holding me and I soon saw him further behind me. He splashed a lot as he ran after me. "You're swimming, Annie Cresta!" he shouted so happily.

I stopped and put my feet down in the stone and sand. "I guess I was, Finn!" I said, so proud of myself.

He came close to me and used the collar of his shirt, not so wet, to dry off his lips and mine. Married people at their weddings kissed with saltwater on their lips. It was cute how Finnick purposely avoided that grown up stuff, for we were still a girl and boy even as Finnick was very much starting to look like a man. He purposely didn't avoid my lips with his, though. The feeling was even more magical than people had tried to tell me.

This day, September 22nd, the Earth stood straight up facing the Sun, as did I with Finnick. Supposedly night and day were equal as summer turned into fall, but today the star appeared at ten minutes after six and disappeared at nineteen minutes after eighteen. That moment, as it dipped beneath the horizon, came as Finnick sorrowfully had to remove his lips from mine. He smiled and said "You're so good at making nets that you caught me."

The summer before the first reaping was usually special, but the summer after my second had been even more so. The next step of my voyage with Finnick began as that season ended.


	3. Base Instincts

Every victor had a Victory Tour the winter after they made it out of the arena, starting exactly six months after their Games had begun with the reaping. It wasn't much of a celebration for the people in the other districts, since their tributes died. There was no victory for the family of the District Four girl. I didn't know them so I wasn't sad but I kind of understood how sad they were. It turned out that Finnick's Victory Tour was only the first of his many trips outside the district.

I'm not sure if Finnick liked me so much anymore now that he was so rich and famous. Also, he had always been handsome, but he was getting even more so as he continued growing up. He was spending most of his time with pretty women from the Capitol. Sometimes he went to the Capitol, presumably to visit them, and sometimes they visited him here in District Four. Sometimes he was supposed to meet me at our beach, but kept me waiting to be with them.

He insisted he didn't like that and that he'd rather be here with me, but I found that hard to believe. I was no expert in boys, even after spending so much time with one I once thought was so wonderful. However, I was not stupid. Probably the only thing that was hard about it was his dick as he was fucking them. Of course he'd rather be in bed with beautiful ladies instead of sitting on the sand with little old Annie.

I used to believe what he said, but when it kept happening, I wasn't so sure anymore. I wondered if he couldn't explain things or just didn't want to. He admitted he was keeping secrets and even said that secrets were all he had left. There was something about being a victor, something I obviously wouldn't understand, but he seemed to be doing pretty well.

Then maybe I thought there was some nasty secret he was trying to keep me safe from. It seemed those Capitol people must be threatening him since he kept going to see them when he said he wanted to stay here with me. I pointed out I hadn't left him, told him I wouldn't and he believed that. He had made a net and I had learned how to swim – we had kept that promise and we had just made another one.

He went to the Capitol throughout the year, but especially when it was time for the Games. Maybe one reason he did what he did was to help get sponsors for his tributes. It didn't work. The next year, the District Five girl won, and the District Two boy the year after that. Stephanie was near as pretty as a District One girl … or me, as my sweet Finn would insist. Ruby London tried to act like a regular District Two tough guy, but it was clear he wasn't.

For my next birthday, my 16th and just 22 days until his 17th, he told me one of his secrets. "There's only one woman whose bed I really want to be in – yours. All the people in the Capitol who 'love' me, they don't compare to you. You know in your heart I'm real. They see me as only a choice fresh filet from the districts. You adore your Finn."

"Mmmh, I do, sweetie!"

"They're twisted almost beyond recognition by tattoos, wigs and surgeries I can't even begin to describe. You're naturally beautiful. That curly brown hair of yours," he said while stroking it. "I just want to curl around you," he said while putting his hands around me; even I knew that was more than a hug. "That glistening olive skin, I just want to eat you all up." _Ooh, I'm feeling __really__ funny now._ "I know I just made it difficult for you to breathe," he said while smiling, but try, I don't want to lose the beautiful little fishy who caught me in her net."

"Well, can I pull you in?" I asked while smiling back. _Of course I could; why do people ask silly questions just to talk?_ He let me bring his head closer to my face so I could kiss him, then while we were still kissing, he stuck his tongue out to lick my lips. I tried to do that too, and then he put his tongue all the way into my mouth, and this felt even better than his regular kisses. It was late autumn, so nearly winter, so I don't know why I was getting so sweaty, but I was.

I usually think so carefully about everything I do, and here I am loosening my pants. I guess I _was_ ready for Finnick to see me like that. Still, the word _naked_ made me hesitate, although only for a second. Most everyone had seen Finnick nearly like that, but it was still a surprise when he took off his shirt in person, a very good surprise indeed. He was sweaty too, and the salty water on his skin made him shine even more. I took off my shirt. I didn't have much underneath it, like how the girls at school often teased me, so I wasn't wearing anything now.

I saw another reason why Finnick was so popular. This was the step where the boy puts it in the girl, so I moved my legs apart a bit. However, Finnick decided to kiss me _there_ instead, and this new kiss was even better than the other new kiss. I was screaming and moving around my bed, but in a very good way. "I wanted to make my Annie feel good…"

"And you did, you sure did!" I said still glowing from what he did to me. I put my hand on him and could barely squeeze at all it was so hard. The bulging blood vessels that made him so hard felt amazing under my fingers. I started moving my hand up and down the skin. He stood up a bit so it was in front of my mouth. People talked about sucking their boyfriends, so that's what I did, and he eventually sprayed inside my mouth. I knew semen had a strong taste, but I figured it wouldn't bother someone used to swallowing saltwater, and I suppose I was right.

"I wish I could even make love to you, but part of the threats are to leave myself for the Capitol clients. People know I'm the only one you want, so if you got pregnant it would be obvious I had been with you. Even if not, the torn hymen would be less obvious, but proof all the same, that I dared fuck the woman I actually love," Finn explained.

I have a feeling I wasn't the only girl who got Finnick Odair for her birthday, but the sole bright spot was that he really knew what he was doing when I got him. He couldn't see me that often, but he had plenty of ideas when he did come to my bedroom. Even those trips were a risk, a risk he took just to see the glow in my eyes.

I barely noticed that the District Three girl Regina won the third Games after Finnick's. I zoned out during Games season; in general I could be good at focusing on something else. Finnick tried to since he still hurt from having had to kill people, but new Games kept reminding him of it as he watched more people die. Sometimes I thought he was getting better and after another trip to the Capitol, he came back worse. Kissing me was no cure, but it was a better one than doing drugs. Most people thought it was funny when other victors did things under the influence. I knew better, I knew Finnick needed me to be there for him, like how he had been there for me at the beach and ever since.

Eventually, it was about time for the fourth reaping since Finnick won, yet I thought something much more important was happening. "Finn, today's a big day," I told him.

"The big day isn't for twelve more days, Annie," he answered.

I figured he wouldn't have known, but he was one of the few people who really liked listening to my stories, instead of just pretending to in order to be nice. "Before … before Panem," I started. _I had been exposed t__o a bit of old history by particularly devoted teachers and had discovered much more on my own._ "People and machines sailed into space."

"To watch the stars from up close?"

"Oh, Finn, the stars were still very far away, but people wouldn't have to look through clouds and everything else in the air. It's like looking through clear air instead of murky water. It must have been beautiful. Oh, but people could step back and look at the Earth, and get a closer look at the moon."

"Now, Annie, what is this big day?"

"Some people even landed on the moon. Five hundred years ago, that happened for the first time. One of the greatest, most inspiring accomplishments ever in the history of human civilization and we ignore the half-millennium because we've forsaken our highest instincts to wallow in our basest ones."


	4. Retaliation

Every victory was bittersweet when it came with twenty-three additions to the tribute cemeteries. However, each year was appealing and revolting in a different way. As for the long-ago trip to the moon, the dead kids from amongst the technologists of Three or the transportation experts of Six could very well have grown up to be the scientists to take us back there and beyond.

"District Nine really needed this," Winnow said during her post-Games victor interview. "I wasn't even born yet when we had our last victor. Heck, my father wasn't even born yet." Most people took it as a joke about old man Harvest's age. However, I read really deeply into some things, maybe too much so, and I think that said something about how unfair the Games were. Compared to them, the odds were relatively in my favor living in one of the districts that won pretty often. However, they were odds none of us should have to face, and favoring some districts helped keep many people from seeing that.

Even if I was reaped, someone would probably volunteer for me. It pretty much always happened in Districts One and Two, but not in Four, as Finnick knew all too well. It occasionally happened in Three, but rarely ever happened in the other districts if at all. I would be eligible for only one more reaping, next year's. That might not seem too bad, but everybody got another entry each year, so people were more likely to get reaped in the later years. One entry at 12, two at 13, three at 14, four at 15, five at 16, six at 17 and seven at 18 added up to twenty-eight. Thus, one fourth of the entries were in the last one seventh of the years. Poor people could get more food if they took more reaping entries. That was called tesserae. It obviously wasn't fair compared to the richer people in their district. A lot of District Four, including my family, was well off enough to not need to do that. That made it all the worse for the few people here who had to, since they stood out. However, added entries every year in much the same way, so the odds between the age groups were the same.

Older and bigger kids usually made better fighters. The deaths they caused, sometimes of each other, were more of a show for the Capitol. Generally the older ones did win, even more often than their high presence in the tribute pool would indicate. This included the 17-year-old Winnow this year. Finnick surviving an arena at 14 was all the more special. Yet I didn't have to wonder why they reaped the younger ones. The Hunger Games were only a game to people with sick minds, and watching the butchery of the very youngest was certainly part of the twisted appeal. Also, for potential tributes themselves, the Capitol would want to stretch out the dread.

I was angry at the Capitol kids who never had to worry about this, or much of anything else for that matter. However, it was Capitol adults doing most of the evil things, including to my Finnick. Finnick gave what details he could stomach to repeat in hushed tones. It was scary in and of itself, yet it was downright chilling how it could disturb someone who had seen combat. Most of the people Finnick had to fuck were older. "Few youngsters can do Snow enough of a favor or pay so high a price," Finnick started bitterly. "And even in the Capitol, the young ones rarely receive such lavish gifts."

I think he was trying to reassure me of how much he hated it and how much he'd rather be with me, something I'd already known as clearly as possible for a little while now. "However, Annie, I have a secret - you're the only one who appreciates how precious I really am," he said to end on a positive note while starting on another positive note. He kissed me like he was stranded at sea and I was a bottle of fresh water. He even lifted me up as if to take that drink. He kissed me upside down. This was an odd precarious angle to be sure, but I still felt safe in my precious Finn's hands anyway, and that was a magical feeling.

Maybe Snow would die and be replaced by someone with a more level head, yet the stubborn old man kept on living. Perhaps he would grow tired of this sick game he played with Finnick and several other victors, but he did the opposite, adding the new victor Winnow to the pile. Considering how good she looked, it was no wonder she was so popular in the Capitol with those who desired females. The same went for Stephanie three years ago. Finnick said Regina, the girl from Three who won last year, was simply too plain to catch their attention.

Finnick said Snow seemed to exude a sick satisfaction the winter of year 69 turning into year 70. The sexual depravity seemed to be the same, so I idly wondered what that evil bastard was gloating about this time. My worries about the Capitol were soon to become much less abstract. Sure enough, it was 'Anemone Cresta' picked at the next reaping. There were no volunteers and I wondered why. Maybe there simply hadn't been a good volunteer available this year.

I had thought the odds simply hadn't been in my favor, but Finnick had other ideas. When I was waiting in the Justice Building for people to say their goodbyes, Finnick stormed in, rather than the somber march of my parents just before. Perhaps the Capitol had threatened potential volunteers or the trainers. It was technically illegal to train to volunteer for the Games. That part of the Capitol's plans here would have been easy enough to carry out - threaten to actually enforce those laws against District Four. Snow must threaten the other nine districts in that regard, and was all too prepared to deliver on that threat whether or not he actually had to do so. The people responsible for Career training here must know that, telling any potential volunteers that they had to stay away this time. Perhaps that had calmed them down, saving their lives to sacrifice mine.

The tributes waited in fancy cells in the Justice Building. The Peacekeepers guarding those cells had quietly let my parents in and out, but I had heard them yelling at Finnick. I wonder why they didn't come in and drag him back out. Maybe they weren't allowed to physically damage the very handsome Mr. Odair. Perhaps they had thought it was a diversion from something else going on elsewhere, and hadn't took what they thought was bait. Finnick explained he had finally balked at some of the Capitol demands, thinking his celebrity status would protect him, but even Finnick wasn't special to the Capitol, and they punished him by punishing me. I suppose it was a twisted proof of how important I was to him. He gave me one kiss which I hope wasn't our last. I was especially determined to come back not only for me, not only for him, but to subvert their attempt at retaliation.


	5. Lost At Sea

The new sights and sounds on the way to the Capitol would have been appealing to most tributes. For the confident, a sign of the 'glory' to come. For most, a small bit of comfort on their way to death. For me, though, I just shut down, closing my eyes and covering my ears – but too much sound still came through my hands, and I still felt the vibrations.

Lotus found me curled up in my room in the sleeper car. She was one of the mentors this year, having won twenty-four summers ago. She was naturally lighter-skinned, although not exceedingly pale, and she had tanned fairly heavily. One could see the lines, or maybe more accurately gradual changes in the pattern, when her shirt sleeves or shorts crept up. "Miss Cresta?" she asked, and went on after not getting an answer from me. "A lot of tributes are scared, you'd be foolish not to. However, the new Victor will have to have their wits about them. I know you're a smart young woman." She paused. "Annie." Paused again, maybe to see if I noticed, which I sort of did. "Finnick can't stop talking about you."

Now I definitely noticed. I was lying down, but bolted up into a sitting position and said "Finn?!"

"All of us District Four victors know it, sweetie," she answered, calmly yet cheerfully. "And most of us are determined to see you together."

"Well, you're the one to tell me how to do that," I said, somewhat sharply.

"Stick with the other Careers. You ought to get to know your district partner, for starters," she suggested.

The name came back to me, 'Jacobus Ostia', a boy of thirteen. He deserved this just as little as I did, just as little as we all did. He was even more bronzed than Finnick, but without my Finn's charm or looks or the deeper things that me and few other people knew about the victor Odair.

"Hello, Anemone," he said flatly, the first time I had been referred to by my official name in awhile. "I was thinking of volunteering, but not this young." _Come to think of it, there had been no volunteers for him either._ Lotus whispered to me that the District Four Career Academy had been warned to not send any volunteers forth this year. Supposedly it was illegal to train for the Games and Snow had threatened to actually enforce that as part of the setup to send me into the arena. As far as we knew, 'Jake' had truly been picked at random.

Nobody was Finn, but Jake was reminding me of him anyway, and I was coming to like him. He was here five years earlier than he planned. I of all people wound understand the pain of plans being interrupted. _Even when the consequences weren't so severe, I sometimes acted like they were._ However, he still had more of an idea of what he was doing here than I did.

"I didn't know they had such lovely girls in District Four," Caesar said cheerfully. _I thought I looked bedraggled however much the stylists tried to fuss with me._ He sounded like he meant it, but showmen like him could most easily fake it, so I believed him even less than I had with Finnick at first. I suppose the Hunger Games were really just games to him and everyone else in the Capitol.

Yet I knew I had to be part of the show if I was going to come out of it alive. Pretending to care about apparently pointless social niceties was difficult for me at the best of times, yet still I somehow managed to simply smile and say "There's at least one other guy who knows it". Thinking of Finn was getting me through this. Even someone as special as him didn't change who I am, but he did still have that effect on me. _Yet the odds aren't in his favor_, I thought to myself. "But there's a lot you don't know about the districts," I added, feeling quite proud of myself.

The Cornucopia was at the bottom of a tall thin cliff. Even pointing my neck up all the way, I couldn't see the top of it. The tallest tribute was the District One boy Silver, nearly seven feet tall, and even he probably couldn't see the top of it. I realized that whatever was at the top was a pretty important part of the arena.

The ground between the platforms and the Cornucopia was muddy. That kept some tributes from approaching the Cornucopia or fleeing it as quickly. Only a few people died in the opening minutes, and many of those were simply finished off when the mud tripped them up.

Silver decided to charge the cliff, having been at least smart enough to secure all the climbing supplies in the Cornucopia. When he stepped forward, the rest of the Careers, including Jake and myself, followed. Most of the other tributes went in another direction, perhaps to get a better view of the cliff, perhaps to get away from us.

The rough rock meant that there were plenty of places to grip onto with hands and feet. Silver went up first and threw down ropes. Even I wasn't too scared as we followed him.

There was a really damn big lake at the top behind a concrete wall. The front of the wall was slanted, maybe causing it to look like part of the cliff at first. The back, top and sides were smooth and standing straight up. We couldn't climb it because there wasn't much to hold onto the way there was with the cliff. However, the lake gave us plenty to drink, and once I found something to make nets out of, plenty to eat.

When night fell, I saw a familiar sky, indicating that the arena and my home in District Four were at similar latitudes. I traced the outside edge of the Big Dipper's bucket to the North Star at the end of the Little Dipper's handle, as I had done hundreds of times. Evidently the lake was to the north of the arena, as walking towards the North Star took me further away from the cliff. There was the dragon, there was the summer hunter, and several more. I tried to point these out to my comrades to help pass the time, but these five people, like many others, were not interested in smarty-pants Annie and were not afraid to admit it.

I heard barely any cannons over the next few days; the audience must be getting anxious and I both did and didn't want to know what tricks the Gamemakers had up their sleeves to make things more 'interesting'.

There were hills on either side of the cliff that could be used to get to the top without climbing straight up. A group of non-Careers was coming from the west; I saw their figures in the setting sun. They waited until the next evening to make their final approach so they wouldn't have the morning sun in their eyes. I had made bigger nets and used them to help slow down the other tributes so my allies could strike. However, I missed the District Six boy in the glare. I threw myself to the ground, appropriately scared of his big sword, only to see him charge Jake. Jake threw his spear. Not only did he miss, He dropped the loop of rope tied to the blunt end that he was going to use to retrieve it. The District Six boy's sword went right through Jake's neck. I panicked, having been barely able to keep my cool so far and finally completely losing it.

I ran and swam away, spending another few days on the other side of the lake. Throughout that time, about all I could see was the sword chopping Jake's head off. I don't think there were many more deaths during my time in hiding. While I was in my side of the lake getting more food and drinking water, I felt a rumbling in the ground, which quickly got worse. The earthquake started cracking the dam. The rock walls on the other shore would probably shatter too and thus flood the camp of the other remaining Careers. The dam started to give way and the water rushed towards the cliff. I swam away from the recently-set sun and towards the North Star to save myself; even my powerful strokes could barely keep up, and the cannons I heard above the sound of rushing water were probably due to my fellow tributes drowning.

I turned up on the shore with a whole-body ache far more profound than anything else I'd ever experienced; the mad dash to avoid my own death had temporarily suppressed the fresh memories of Jake's demise. The sight of his head rolling on the ground had come rushing back to me when I heard the all too familiar fanfare of the Panem national anthem. That introduced Claudius Templesmith's also-memorable voice. "Ladies and gentlemen, the Victor of the Seventieth Annual Hunger Games, Anemone Cresta!" _Had I really done it?_

I was dazed and confused throughout the trip back to the Capitol, the interview, the trip back to District Four. Back home, I sat on our beach, glassy-eyed, lost in deep focus as I often had been and often will be, but what I focused on had taken a drastic turn for the worse. Sometimes I barely noticed people, even Finnick, and the best of times, and this was definitely not that.

Finnick barely left my side on the sand. I was being difficult, I know, but he of all people would understand why. "The arena does this to everyone", I heard his old mentor Mags telling him in more words. "But even these really bad wounds eventually heal". I wasn't so sure; I guessed that Mags might be saying that to try and make me feel better.

He pinned flowers in my hair and I barely noticed. He laid out a net he'd made – I barely noticed that either, and him learning how to do that had once excited me so much. However, the sight of the net and the feeling of his continued attention helped me warm back up to him.

On New Years' Even after I won, Finnick and I visited Olive and Popeye at their Victors Village house. Olive started talking, a sweet old lady. "I know how much you two mean to each other, I'm so glad to see another victor couple, even under the circumstances that Snow put you in. My Popeye and I are getting old, but you're still young. If you can ever marry, we'd like you to wear our rings."


End file.
